Saturday, October 13, 2012

How To Run For President - A Republican's Guide To The White House

Dog Dancing on Water
First Lesson, Dance Like You Mean it!!!
By Mitt Rome

There comes a time when every politician starts letting you know that the other politicians are to blame for whatever ails the country and they have the secret formula to solve all of the problems. That time always comes around during election season, and heats up for presidential elections.

Republicans have a standard set of talking points that they like bring up, and regardless of what they said before in public, all of their viewpoints must now appeal to the base. Everything from abortion, to gun rights, and to taxes must be reframed to be pro-life, pro-gun lobby, and against any form of taxes.

Abortion rights have been in place since 1972 with little change since the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court ruling. No republican president has proposed legislation to change that ruling, but during campaign they've all talked about it.

The republican narrative is based on simple messages that speak to the uneducated masses, or wealthy individuals that stand to gain from having the masses adopt policies that are against their own best interests.

One of these simple messages is lower taxes. It's a no brainer to support lower taxes. It means that in theory you get to keep more of your own money and you keep the government out of your pocket. After all, don't you have better things to do with your tax money than the government? Unfortunately life is not that simple.

Nobody likes paying taxes, but the real question is, do tax cuts actually stimulate the economy? Imperial evidence would tend to suggest that there is no correlation between low taxes leading to economic growth. On the other hand, tax revenue is used to pay for public goods like roads, airports, the sewer system, and sidewalks.

Even if you don't fly or drive, it's likely that those things are still quite important to maintaining your quality of life since they are part of the infrastructure that is used to carry your mail, bring in food that you eat, and bring gas for the car you drive. All of those things have one thing in common; they are public goods that are funded by tax revenue. No one wants to pay for those things, but they improve the quality of life for everyone.

You may argue that you believe in personal responsibility, but how far can you take that argument? Will you grow your own food, have a personal oil well in your back yard where you convert the output to petroleum, and a septic tank and landfill where you deposit your waste, and self-educate yourself. Even if you did have all of those things you would still require things like a system to enforce the rule of law so someone doesn't show up in your kingdom and steal your water, oil, or food.

That scenario may be a bit extreme, but it is a good example that illustrates that most people can't go at it alone. There are benefits that everyone enjoys from tax revenue that has been collected from a wide variety of people.

With all of that said, if you're running for president and you're a republican candidate, you must go all in and claim you want to eliminate taxes, and reduce government. There must be tough talk on international affairs and lean towards the extreme on social issues.

If all of that doesn't pay off in the polls, it's time to not just blame your opponent, but to also blame the liberal media. The reason for lagging poll numbers is never your fault, it's the fault of the crazy liberal media.

There are outrageous convention speeches to empty chairs, and speeches that require so many fact checkers that it could lower the unemployment rate, but if your marathon time just doesn't add up, it could be a sign that your team is losing the race. In that case, maybe a little less pandering to the wackos of your party might actually get you a bit further in your quest to claim victory.

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Ed Springston

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